Be Still, Know I Am Here

A few days ago, I was starting my blog again. Since then, I am addicted or perhaps the right word is "Inspired" to write more about life. Life is something skeptical which each individual has their own perspective. At the very young age of mine, I have seen a lot my friends who is growing up and looking for what they really want in life and someone who has already knows what they really wants. Each of them are unique and we can't tell which one is the right one. Everything is depend on us and what kind of life we want to have.

Honestly, I am lucky enough to grow up in the family who is led by powerful person. My dad has gone through life for almost 60 years with its ups and down. His teaching pretty much hard to accept at the very young age. When I was a kid, there's a lot pros and cons about his teachings about the value of life. So often, he reminds me and my other siblings to live a life with meaningful stories. I was not able to accept what does it mean and even thinking that it was just a non-sense.

However, as I growing up, I have watch people surround me live a life in such various ways. I starting to questions myself "What am I going to do with my life?" "what kind of life I wanna live on?" At certain point, I don't wanna live a life in a just life. I wanna be something. I wanna be something different. All these years, I have been on the edge of life. I have been on the side where people looked down on me, where people don't trust me, where I have no one to accept me for who I am. It was few years ago. But how I am going to live my next life in a special way? 

I am here not talking about money. Let's put aside a thought of money. Well, for most of us, money is everything but have you ever thought that money is just a complimentary? That does not mean that we do not need money but life is so much more than just money. If we focus on the money, we might have missed the great things of life, the fun thing about life. Everyone deserves a good life after all.

Since I came to Singapore 2 years ago and decided to commit myself in serving Him, I begun to understand a little about myself and what kind of life I wanna have. I begun to study holy bible and getting deeper relationship with Him as I serve him through my daily life. I started to appreciate the little things people do for me. I started to learn be thankful in EVERY circumstances. Slowly, I validated what my man says. 

I begun to understand the meaning of life that he was talking about. For me, I want a life that can touch other's people heart and inspired them through everything that has happened and is happening in my life. I learn that kind of life that is not selfish and I believe that kind of life God wants us to live. That's not easy to live a life that God wants us to live. Even harder to know what kind of life God wants us to live. But God always says to me whenever I get weary on the journey to "Be still and know I am God"

That's it? yes, that's it, it is short but if we truly mean it, it is such a powerful statement. Just recently, a few hours before I started writing my blog, I was in the middle of "busy life" which is just laying down, watching movie and eating biscuit while waiting for a good news. At first, I thought I am going to feel relax but just by doing that I felt so much restless and tired. Then, a small voice from my heart told me to switch off all things like phone, laptop and light and switch on instrumental music and closed my eyes.

In the darkness and quietness of the night, I feel the presence of God saying "Be thankful, do not be afraid, your life is safe with me. Come to me who are labour and burden and I will give you rest" And at that very moment, I started to being thankful for EVERY LITTLE thing in my life. With a peace of mind and heart, I started to just enjoy the moment and begin to have conversation with God secretly about what kind of life that He wants me to have for the next 5 or 6 years. Pour out my worries about my career, partner of life and my family, the answer of all questions is JUST "Be still, Know I am God" I am still satisfied anyway. Then, I just smile and says Thanks God. Again I am renewed in spirit. 

My point is that, there is no point worrying our life and the little things in it. To have the life that we desire on like being rich and have a good life ahead is definitely something valuable for most of us. But what if we move our focus to live an unselfish life? could you imagine that the world will become a better place? Even your life will not be boring. The journey is hard, but God promise it will worth it because in everything you do, there is always a reward and it will not be vain. If we live a life as God wants us to live, there is no room for jealously. Everyone will live a happy life. Everyone deserve a happy life! Draw near to Him, Be still and know that HE is the God who can do ALL things more than you could imagine.With Him all things possible! Believe it and see what happens! :D

X.O.X.O

We are blessed to be a blessing

May you are blessed!

The Gift That are Never Fade Away

Dear beloved readers, 

I believe that God has given each one of us talent like singing, dancing, creating music, announcer or speaker etc. There are more talent inside of us that we should try to dig in deeper. If you want to explore yourself with many gifts that God has put in your heart, I believe your life never be dull. I am going to share one of my many gift that God give me.

Since I was a kid, my passion about music is bigger. I was dreaming to be a singer and composer. I didn't take any music education and honestly I don't know how to make a song. By the time goes, I never touch my passion about music other than singing. I never had proper lesson for music other than joining choir team in Church and my high school. The rest of the Technic, I only listen to singer who have pure/ natural voices like Beyonce and the feedback from various music talent show. I listen, learn and try to sing like them.   

Thanks God, 2 years ago I came to Singapore and joined Charismatic Catholic Holy Spirit Indonesia as part of team praise & worship. My passion about music is alive. I observe and learn from multi-talented people in there. I become obsessed with guitar and wanted to learn basic guitar. I started my guitar with Christians' songs and within 3 months, I could see the pattern of Christians' music. Since then, I told myself that to create a music is only a matter of creativity. If I could play with the simple keys and melody, there's always a music.

Thanks God, through the help from these awesome people, I could started creating my own music thou it is not perfect. Most of the song I create is based on what has happened in my life and what can I take as the lesson from that. Thanks God again, all the music was created by flow. 

What I am trying to say is that WHATEVER gift you have, go explore more, see what God can do with your talent to bless others. The talent is a gift and it should not be wasted in everyway, use it WISELY. Never lose hope and keep trying! The talent is just a talent until you brave enough to make others known. 

Here's one of my very own songs that I created last year in less than 12 hours with the help of my friend. The song called "The Untold Story" inspired by my relationship back then but it was too biased and I tried to go with it anyway. What I was trying to say is that we never know what is going to happen with the person in front of you unless we let it flow.

Here's the lyrics:

The Untold Story by Teresa Churchill

Ver1:

If Everything happen for a reason

I believe we meant for something new

Something that we yet don't know

Only God who knows

Ver2:

Is this somekind of mystery?

Mystery that together we should solve

perhaps you and I wonder

what would it be

Each day, each night we try to figure out

Chorus:

We walk just as it is

wondering what would coming

would you be mine and I'd be yours

or its only meant for dream

We walk just as it is

wondering what would happen

would you hold my hands

and walk together

or the life begins

with our untold story.

 X.O.X.O

May this be a Blessing for you!

Have a good day! 

Broken Heart or Blessing Heart

Hello Readers, its been sometimes since I posted my article. As I seen the history, it was 2 years ago I wrote my article. Well, time flies and here I am back to blog. This time, I'd be great to announce that I am no longer student. Yes, I just graduated and looking for a job and starting my own career ahead.

Here I go talking about life.

Recently, I have fallen for someone that means the world to me. I have never noticed that this person has been there for quite sometimes until something moved me to be bold enough to say. Well, you can guess the end, it didn't work out and we stay as friend hopefully. But, I am here not to pity my self about my broken heart. I want to tell you how this person affect my life so much to the point where I changed my self for good constantly and he helping me to grow up as a tough, elegant and free person. Isn't he sweet? yes, he is.

I've been in love with several guys and it always turned out not good. Yes, i was mad, disappointed, broken hearted and pitying myself. However, As I growing to be a woman, I come across where I've been used by irresponsible boy. Well, lets not say irresponsible, It just a part of him that still learning how to treat a girl well the next time. I felt cheated. Yes, definitely, but luckily I was surrounded by loving friends including him.It was hard for me as a person who is been cheated materialistically to move on. However, I chose to love, forgive and forget. if you ask me, can I do that? No, I can't but God help me to do so.

As I moved on, I was telling him about this boy and the flow was so clear, the sweet memories only two of us know. The funny thing is that, he always been there every time I need him. His advice simple and realistic but it always reminds me to stay true to yourself like to face reality though its hard. I can't describe detail but it still clear in my picture how I can so much trust him while I'm having a hard time to trust anyone.

Throughout the journey, we showing our cards, but as the time goes by its faded because my mistake. I was impatient and wanted to control everything as I want because my traumatic. I often apologize for my action and as many as apologize I offer to him, as many as that he willing to forgive me and move on. Through him, I found out the true of image of myself, with him I'm weak, only in him I can tell everything without being judged. I guess, its because we both are open-minded person. But, my fear defeat me and affect the relationship and I act according to my fear.

Once again, I felt cheated and jealous and my personal belief was shaken. Usually, it is not easy for me to trust someone again who has done something clearly offended me but not with him. While others says "what you see is what you get and its reality" but deep down of me, says to forgive, forget the past and live in present and to once again to trust him. But, it took sometimes for me to consider that. While I can't sleep, I pray early at dawn 3am, I pray,

"God, I don't know how to pray in my situation currently but deep down of my heart I know You know EVERY SINGLE thing of my life. Help me to understand the situation." Silence for quite sometimes and I begun again "Lord, if You want me to forgive, forget and begin again, help me to trust no man but You only. Help me to stay true to myself and begin again not looking back." During the second silence, I was captivated by small voice ask me to trust this man then I replied, "Lord, I trust no man but You, what ever you want me to do, not my will but Yours. I believe in You, Lord"

As I finished my prayer, I fell asleep right away. The next day, I could feel the atmosphere change and I felt restored. Once again, I experienced the power of prayer in my life. Until one point where I was forced by situation to be bold enough to say what I felt this whole time and again I could predicted the answer. It was puzzled enough for me till now.

Well, the truth to be learned is we are human with all imperfection in us, one way to help us grow is to brave enough to make mistake and begin again as we learned from our mistake. As partner of life, we have to be willing forgive, forget, trust no one but Lord and open space to make mistake. As this relationship begin again with its new beginning, I learned that too many people focus on the good things in the relationship without realizing that relationship should be an open space to learn a little about everything. Each person involved must be able to identify what is in your deep down, take sometimes away, surrounded by positive people. We were great but not great enough and not in the right time. I need to be willing enough to move on for good. If God want us to be together, we will be together someday. My broken heart has turned into blessing heart showered by His love.

X.O.X.O

May this article be a blessing for you as you read.

GodBless!