I don't know how to describe this feeling. But, I just want to share a small blessing I received. I am currently working in printing company as a customer support. As a CS I need to deal with a lot of books specification daily which is awesome. But, the best part of my job is I have a very right to read all the books that my company printed free.
Then, one fine day, I saw a beautiful book on my boss' desk. When I saw that, I know that I am in love with the books and the cover design. The cover is pink colour with classic design on it. I normally don't like pink though but this time is exceptional. hahaha!
So, my wishful thinking was to handle that kind of books (as fyi, though you see books as book itself, its actually done more complicated than you think! ha!). Few days later, suddenly, my boss came to me and hand over a book which turn out to be that book! while saying, "For you, I thought you would like the magazine". I am surpised and overjoyed and at that point the project have not confirmed yet. I was excited to read the books and happier when I read the books, it is actually a Christians magazine which sharing about who we are in Christ.
At that moment, my condition was unstable. I questioned my faith and identity as Christ followers. I was angry at myself and think that I am a fool to become Christ followers. It was tough cause I lost my confident, I became self-centred and negthink towards others.
I don't know if this coincident or not but I believe God never do coincident things. But this was the perfect timing to read the magazine. As I read it, my faith was slowly return and I started to fix my self little by little. I am reminded my self-worth as a Christ's image. Easy not easy, raise then fall, bright and dimmed. It was complicated.
But, I changed a lot compare to my old personality. I know I will fall even deeper. I could've lost my job. But, No! it never happened, instead, He uses my job to rescue me from that confusion. Since then, I realised that I am loved and this job is really meant for me. I started this job with a lot of mournings and struggles as it carries big responsibilities to make sure everything well-planned till the end process, to be well-organized person and detailed person which I am not. But, that was nothing compare to blessings that I constantly receives from my jobs. The supportive boss, well-maintain work environment. Everything is just perfect for me.
I learn that if we patient enough to wait, He will give us more than what we thought we will receive. This job was on 6 months waiting period but that period is worth a life time lessons. I know and fully-awared that I am saved in His hands. Thou that long period filled with sweet and bitter moments, I am not disappointed with the result. I am even more thankful especially I realized that I have given a very supportive parent this whole time but I couldn't see it. Now I can see it clearly and I see the beauty of life even deeper.
Now, Looking back, I just know that these all mean nothing if it wasn't done by His grace. and Yes, He taken me into a deeper faith, and the journey still continues.
By His grace I am humbled.
♔ What blesses you, it bounce back to you. ♔
X.O.X.O
